A Comment From Nothing

Even though my thoughts have tended towards solipsism or at least to a large portion of the population being fake/p-zombies, there is a lingering problem that Nothing points to here. I do not feel like God. I do not know why I would be placed here against my will and made to be so impotent. I would clearly not do this to myself. This means that there is another creative force which is absolutely not me but separate from me and this is the cause of all my woes. I am not some kind of sick Yahweh/Jesus who would torture himself in order to redeem himself. (Although I do workout for some higher purpose, which I consider light torture.) But I’m fairly certain I wouldn’t knowingly do this to myself despite what my aunt suggests. She thinks we chose to come here and that perhaps we even chose our parents. That’s not true since I would have probably chosen her over my own mother. None of this makes sense. I’m confused as to why I am not God and yet exist. How can I exist and yet not be God? It doesn’t make sense. This is madness. I’m just some petty, lowly creature and yet I also seem to be the beginning and end of all that is. Something doesn’t seem right in that picture and this is my greatest current objection against solipsism – how absurd it would be for I of all things to be the chosen one to exist.

10 thoughts on “A Comment From Nothing

  1. I’m far from solipsism, but I ruminate a lot over the philosophical questions that you seem to feel in the flesh. I’ve only had experiences like that on LSD. I just wanted to let you know that this is beautifully written… maybe you can’t build a scissor, but not everyone can communicate with another mind at that level.

    “Madness” or not, I wish you a positive hedonic tone 🙂

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  2. I’m far from solipsism, but I ruminate a lot over the philosophical questions that you seem to feel in the flesh. I’ve only had experiences like that on LSD. I just wanted to let you know that this is beautifully written… maybe you can’t build a scissor, but not everyone can communicate with another mind at that level.

    “Madness” or not, I wish you a positive hedonic tone 🙂

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  3. Jordan Peterson makes the argument that if we were in paradise, there would be nothing to do but indulge in eating and continuing the species, the first thing we would do is destroy it out of boredom. I disagree with this idea because it assumes that heaven is just us with the mental firmware of humans except for nothing bad happening. If we upgraded our firmware to never be depressed etc. we could probably experience things that are way better than can presently be imagined. However I can’t conceive of what this would be like other than being on drugs constantly without the side effects so we might indeed get bored and create lives with fake meaning because that is the best life to experience. But I would say there is a higher chance I am limited by my own creativity than this being true.

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    • Jordan Peterson is evil and stupid. He has a daughter and says, “We are here to suffer so learn to suffer like a man.” A potential paradise could be like a never ending DMT trip with the constant pleasure level of heroin. If you get bored then it’s not paradise. There don’t even have to be human bodies. His is just a severe lack of imagination. And there is no sense in which suffering or mediocrity create meaning. All the meaning you need would be packaged into the paradise experience. But I am not experiencing such meaning and perhaps never will. That’s why despite the abundant grace and mercy I think I am not subject to a fully benevolent God. Perhaps God is like Jordan Peterson and I therefore consider him my enemy.

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  4. We could also be put in this universe as a simulation from higher intelligent beings to learn right from wrong and because higher beings enjoyed. This could be conceived as selfish. But perhaps it is better to start off as not intelligent and grow than to start off as a perfect being.

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    • I definitely feel that there are higher intelligences that know me. At some point I got the impression that the intelligence was learning about me. But in any case, I don’t understand why you think that it’s better to not be intelligent. I would be so grateful and probably even love existence if I was really intelligent – intelligent enough to be talented at everything I tried. What I would give to be great at creating music, playing any sport, writing, speaking, doing mathematics and science, drawing, designing, engineering, fixing things. As it stands I feel severely incapacitated by my lack of intelligence/ability.

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      • You *might* be above average when it comes to intelligence. Your brain definitely produces useful insights and creative ideas occasionally. Sometimes even good writing. It’s possible that the “viscosity” of your brain is quite high, but with your high conscientiousness you’ve been trying to LARP someone who has low viscosity because you’ve realized the importance of intelligence. At the least you have a good body, judging from your past videos. So you can take solace in the fact that you at least have that bodily aesthetic going for you.

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      • Trust me, my intelligence is far below average. I feel like I’m trapped in an alien world where I don’t where all the intelligence comes from. How do people make planes and video games and keep malls stocked and everything else? I’m so traumatized by it that I don’t even believe it’s real people doing it. And I don’t know what “useful insights and creative ideas” you’re referring to. My writing sucks and it’s depressing because I’m mediocre at the thing I’m supposed to be best at. And even more depressingly I no longer have that body. I now look kind of chubby. Fuck I want to kill myself. But even that seems impossible. I’ve given up on trying. I guess I will just miserably tread through this life as the inferior and disgusting creature that I am.

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  5. Not sure if you’re fishing for compliments or genuinely believe you are of below average intelligence. Humility is certainly better than arrogance in this area, so at least you’ve got that going for you.

    Writers never produce their best work as young as you are now. It takes many years of writing and reading for them to produce their magnum opuses.

    Raw intelligence and potential is irrelevant, however, if someone is just gonna squander their talents on the hedonic traps of gaming, porn, navel gazing, etc.

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    • Like I said, I don’t understand how humans can create and sustain such complex creations and systems. I am below average intelligence in that I have held only held stupid-people jobs, one at a pizza place and the other driving around killing and collecting mosquito larva. I’m not capable of much more. I stopped pursuing my career in science because of crippling depression but also because I slowly began to realize that I couldn’t design and execute an experiment like those in the scientific papers. I can’t be a molecular biology researcher, an aerospace engineer, an atomic physicist, a doctor, an architect, heck even a plumber or someone who cuts hair. I would therefore consider myself below average intelligence. I couldn’t care less about compliments from the fake people on this site. You all feel very artificial and I know nothing about you.
      And there’s nothing wrong with gaming and porn. Life would be far worse without these things.

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