Seeing all people as my direct and indirect servants who are not real like me does help. It doesn’t help with my loneliness but it helps with not feeling that this universe is so evil. It is perhaps a mean prankster but not pure evil the way it would be if people were real. I’ll make that trade any day – to sacrifice the conscious reality of humankind in order to attain peace of mind. And it’s not just all the shootings and stabbings that I can’t believe in, I also cannot believe that conscious people like myself are capable of the level of performance that they achieve. So that trade balances out my luck on the one hand and my misfortune on the other (“Luckily” I’ve never experienced serious violence and “unluckily” I’ve never experienced what it’s like to perform at a high level on something.) I don’t believe in luck. I think everything is destined/set up to be the way it is. I think the generalizable principle is not that I’m lucky. I think the generalizable principle is that the universe doesn’t allow for discomfort or evil beyond that which I have experienced. Therefore people who claim that they themselves or others have experienced great evil are lying. They claim to not be philosophical zombies but I don’t believe them. Yet I still try to not feel bad about kids, all of whom are being raised to be slaves. It’s a bit difficult to not attribute consciousness to something that looks like myself but I’m getting better at it. I already do not feel any consciousness from people commenting on this site or my YouTube channel or sending me messages. But I still have to practice with faces in person.
The fact that everything works so well is divine, it is magical how causality just unfolds in such a way that people’s collective behavior leads to this hotel and these streets and everything else that fundamentally functions. What distresses me is the question of what it’s all for. All this “effort” for what? I’m not happy. So if it was an honest attempt to make me happy then it failed. But I feel that it was not an honest attempt. After understanding its power I no longer believe in accidents. It could give me true paradise but it gives me this makeshift parody of paradise instead because it deliberately chooses to punish me.
Oh and my new thinking does work like a charm. I passed by a woman with her infant on a stroller and I thought, “They’re not real. They’re my servants.” And no more anger and sadness. They’re just not real and that’s something I have to learn. No one is truly reading this site except for me. I may get a tiny few reactions but these only exist for me. And it’s always the universe speaking to me, never independent skin-bound souls.
I’ve seen quite a few fit guys however I have not seen any hot Dominican or tourist women. Beauty truly is scarce in this world. My mom says God made everyone beautiful. I strongly disagree.
I saw a boat that said, “Para todos sale el sol.” Then I saw a baby. This made me think if heaven was guaranteed for everyone, would it be moral to bring people into this world? I think the answer depends on how good heaven is and how long it takes to get there. Will it be immediately after death? Will there be ten or a hundred more lives and deaths? Will there only be a bardo state for some time before entrance is allowed? Is it painful purgatory instead? How painful? Depending on the answers to these questions the answer may be yes or no.
The day was uneventful. I worked out and I ate and I walked.