Antinatalism In Purgatory

I’m an antinatalist. I think it’s unforgivable to bring new people into this world given that there is suffering. The thing is that lately I’ve been thinking and feeling that people aren’t real. This would partially solve the problem of evil. There is just my suffering and everyone else is a simulation designed to spite me. This should cause me to not feel so antinatalist since the breeders are disgusting alien mockeries of a true human being, namely myself. Yet somehow I still feel very antinatalist. When I see children with their parents I am disgusted at the entire concept. They are probably just facets of the simulation and not souls brimming with the inner light of awareness like myself. And yet they still move me enough to cause disgust. I suppose that was the intention of the designer(s), to create something that appeared so real that it was actually disturbing. Dr. Miller says I have some sort of syndrome after finding out about my solipsism. I think he’s an imbecile who deserves to be burned on a stake. But out of my bodhisattva-like compassion I would instead grant him a consciousness and send him to heaven forever.

Like I’ve said before, it’s plausible to me that this is a punishment. My failure at making friends, then my failure at soccer, then my failure in the stock market, then my failure at university, then my crippling depression. The reason I think it’s a punishment may just be projecting a sense of justice to something that is intrinsically devoid of any anthropomorphic qualities. But it may also be that there really is intelligent design (which I now strongly feel is the case) and the reason this isn’t heaven is because the force behind existence isn’t like me. It’s not the sort of thing that would give heaven to its enemies.

There’s no need to worry that I will have a child due to my new views. It is true that this would be morally neutral as a solipsist. The child is probably not conscious. However the problem is “probably.” This is just a feeling and something I wish to be true. In any case I’m not capable of staying hard for the repeated humping of someone. I guess I could masturbate and ejaculate inside of her. But of course I will never do this due to the guilt I would feel if the kid was conscious and turned out like me, hating life. I am disgusted and disappointed by the continued breeding of humans because a part of me still attributes consciousness to them and this comes from empathy. And that’s all assuming I’m capable of getting a girlfriend. This is not possible so again, no need to worry if your are conscious and care enough about people to be an antinatalist.

Is this it, senpai?

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I posted a video roughly sketching the case for the physical existence of “God.” I did this because the physical existence of the theoretical limit of intelligence is something with high memetic contagion potential and which is actually true when divorced from all the other connotations. And this is true in the same way that dihydrogen monoxide in a cetacean is true.

I introduced the idea while shirtless. The sorts of males who care about arguments for the physical existence of God are also largely those who perceive me to exist in their reference class for imitative mirror neuron activity. When they detect that I am not performing socially adaptive behavior within their status hierarchy, the amygdala causes them to cringe.

… but the normie-atheist female didn’t mind.

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In other words: stop being so moral, so that you can be more moral.

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Naivety About Hidden Motives

Women sell sex (so to speak) and men buy sex, and in doing so they are exchanging valuable resources. Women give sexual access to men after men have given them money, commitment, affection, respect, or time. It seems crude to think about sexual relations in this way, but sexual economics theory demonstrates that basic economic tenets can explain men’s and women’s negotiations about whether to have sex.

Nerds often have a less permeable membrane from their subconscious to their conscious. Hence, they are deceived about their hidden motives and those of others.

Hard-to-fake signals include money and health, hence why they are prominent criteria for female assessment of male attractiveness.

Amotz Zahavi suggested that cheating (sending convincing signals that are not actually expensive) could be controlled by the handicap principle, where the best horse in a handicap race is the one carrying the largest handicap weight. According to Zahavi’s theory, signalers such as male peacocks have ‘tails’ that are genuinely handicaps, being costly to produce.

Not being attuned to one’s own hidden motives and those of society are genuine handicaps, hence why they are attractive. Being a “nerd” who accidentally succeeds at the hard-to-fake signals should correlate with higher sexual attractiveness to females than men who succeed by “knowing what is going on.”

I arrived at this hypothesis by generalizing from peacock dynamics to humans, but it seems plausible given that an uncanny amount of males avoid “just making money” when there is ample opportunity and instead want to get there as a side-effect.

The shadows that pre-Linsey warned me about did not appear. I was ready for the shadow people and the succubi.

Shadow people and succubi are absorbed by me because I am God and God is love. Open individualism = solipsism is a powerful operating system.

Perhaps I absorbed them and didn’t even notice.

Perhaps they were inside of the anime. She did warn me I would be disappointed the first time around, but that I must be patient.

I set her up to guide me. To choose obsidian and then compliment me with her own traits.

I cannot remember my dream. It was not eventful. Ahh, yes, some sort of gamer convention looking thing.

But why Brazil, Mexico, Italy, Czech Republic, Finland, and Poland?

Canada = Filipino girl on instagram (I think?)

Brazil = Noctuo

Italy seems important somehow but I cannot remember how. 2006 World Cup Champions, Gwern links not just to Japanese music but also Italian music – also “raised” Catholic – that inhuman dog. The New World ads also referenced Italy.

Finland makes me think of that bi-sexual depressed less wrong kid.

Poland makes me think of another depressed person that I met at a psychiatric hospital. I immediately made the mental note that he would ruin “Poland” for me at the time that I asked him his identified place of origin.

Czech Republic just reminds me of a porn star who I do not like very much but who was at least enough above the dismal quality of that disgusting realm to get me through at some point.

Mexico thinks of AlgeKalipso but sometimes gives tiny hints of Arturo or some female energy instead perhaps.

What do these particular identifiers point to?

I know that I made my existence more freeing by loosening the graphic integrity of the people I see online. This is the same principle that went into the limited traffic. But why these countries? … And an occasional Japan and Singapore with lighter units of 1.

On twitter, I know that the likes or impressions are (not) meaningful. I suspect that I am supposed to convene with the chosen ones, but the simulation makes me feel impatient by taunting me with the “limited processing power.”